Grief is a response to losing someone or something significant in your life. Whether you’ve experienced the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a life transition, grief is a way of processing loss and gradually adjusting to a new reality.
Understanding grief
Grief is a natural response to losing someone or something significant in your life. Grief is a way of processing loss and gradually adjusting to a new reality.
While grief is most associated with the death of a loved one, it can also arise from other significant losses in your life. You might experience grief following a divorce or relationship breakdown, job loss, moving away, facing a health challenge, or going through a major life transition.
Symptoms of grief
While everyone reacts to grief differently, below are some common symptoms.
Emotional changes
These may include sadness, anger, denial, shock, guilt, anxiety, numbness, or even relief. These emotions can feel overwhelming and may come in waves, sometimes without warning. One moment, you might feel you’re coping well, and the next, you might find yourself in tears.
Physical symptoms
Common symptoms may include fatigue, low energy, headaches, changes in appetite, and sleep disturbances.
Cognitive effects
These symptoms may include difficulty concentrating, confusion, forgetfulness, or becoming preoccupied with thoughts of your loss. You may find it challenging to focus on everyday tasks or make decisions.
Behavioural changes
Changes can include social withdrawal, avoiding places or people that remind you of your loss, or difficulty maintaining your responsibilities at work or home.
Ways to cope with grief
There is no “right” way to grieve and no set timeline for healing. What matters is finding healthy ways to move through your loss at your own pace. Below are some practical strategies for coping with grief.
Allow yourself to feel
Resist the urge to suppress or avoid difficult emotions. Acknowledge and let yourself feel your different emotions without judgement.
For example, if you feel like crying, then allow yourself to cry. Crying is a natural response to intense emotions, and it can provide relief. However, if tears don’t come, this doesn’t mean your grief is any less valid.
Maintain your routines
Grief can disrupt your routines and make basic tasks seem overwhelming. Maintaining a simple daily routine can provide stability and help you regain a sense of control.
Focus on activities like eating regular meals, maintaining personal hygiene, and going to bed at consistent times. Consider each completed task as a small victory.
Express your grief in meaningful ways
Find healthy outlets for your emotions that feel right for you. If you have lost someone, creating a photo album or engaging in activities that honour their memory can help you heal after your loss. You can also keep a journal to process and understand your feelings.
Some people find comfort in talking about their experiences, while others prefer private reflection. Both approaches are valid, and your preferences may change over time.
Look after yourself
Grief can be exhausting, but it’s important to take care of your health. Focus on meeting your basic needs, such as eating nutritious meals, staying hydrated, and getting enough sleep. Even if your appetite has changed, try to maintain regular eating patterns.
Engaging in physical activities, such as walking, can help reduce stress and improve your mood. You can also try relaxation and deep breathing exercises to help you relax and feel calmer.
Stay connected with others
While you may feel like withdrawing, maintaining connections with trusted and supportive people can help. Accept offers of support from friends and family, whether it’s assistance with practical tasks or just spending time together.
Be honest about what you’re experiencing and what kind of support you need. Some days, you might want company, while other times, you may prefer space. Let them know how they can best support you.
Consider joining a grief support group where you can connect with people who understand your experience. Sharing your story with people who have faced similar losses can provide comfort and make you feel less alone.
When to seek professional help
While there is no timeline for grief, you might want to seek professional help if:
- Your grief feels overwhelming and isn’t easing over time, or you’re finding it impossible to manage daily responsibilities like work, study, or maintaining relationships.
- You are feeling completely isolated.
- Your physical symptoms, such as headaches, fatigue or sleep problems, are not going away.
Support for grief
If your grief is overwhelming, you can speak to your GP, who can provide advice and refer you to other support if needed.
You can also contact the following organisations:
- CAREinMIND offers free 24/7 counselling for people in Melbourne’s northern, central and western suburbs. Call 1300 096 269.
- Grief Australia has specialised grief counselling and support services.
- Griefline offers free, compassionate, and confidential support.
- SuicideLine Victoria offers free 24/7 counselling.
Healing from grief isn’t linear, and there may be difficult days even after you feel you’re moving forward. Please remember that support is available if you need it. You don’t have to go through this alone.
If you are struggling and need to reach out to a mental health professional, our CAREinMIND counsellors are here 24/7. Call 1300 096 269 or click the chat button on the right. The service is free for people in north, western and central Melbourne.
The CAREinMIND blog is delivered by Lifeline. The views in each post do not necessarily reflect those of North Western Melbourne Primary Health Network.