Recognising your emotions and identifying the cause
For many of us, experiencing strong emotions such as fear, anxiety, disappointment, sadness, and anger is a normal part of life. But it can take a toll if you are continually having difficulty managing your emotions.
When our emotions become overwhelming, they can impact our everyday life. You might notice that:
- There are conflicts in your relationships.
- You are not getting along with your work colleagues.
- You have emotional outbursts.
Fortunately, there are ways that you can effectively manage your emotions and regain control.
The first step is to recognise the emotion you are feeling. For example, if you feel upset, identify if the emotion is anger, frustration, disappointment, or another emotion.
Once you have identified the emotion, think about what is causing you to feel this way. Consider what might be driving your feelings. Ask yourself questions like:
- Cause: Was there something that happened that caused me to feel this way? (e.g. received an email, someone said something, someone was dismissive)
- Interpretation: How did I interpret the situation? (e.g. they are upset with me, they have criticised my work)
- Physical response: Am I noticing any physical sensations? (e.g. sweating, tense jaw)
- Behavioural response: How am I responding? (e.g. being curt or rude)
- Other people’s reactions: How are other people responding? (e.g. withdrawal, argumentative)
Strategies to manage your emotions
Once you have identified the emotion and its cause, it is time to take action. Try one or more of the following strategies to help manage the emotion.
Take a moment to pause
When your emotions are overwhelming, take a moment before reacting. Slow down and listen before responding. Reconsider your initial interpretation of the situation – is there another explanation that might make sense? Think about how you want to react and if there is a better way to cope with the emotion.
Deep breathing
High emotions can trigger your body’s fight, flight or freeze response, which is a natural response to stress. This can make it hard to process information and think logically. To help you relax, take a few deep breaths or try a deep breathing exercise like box breathing:
- Breathe in for 4 seconds
- Hold your breath for 4 seconds
- Exhale for 4 seconds
- Hold for 4 seconds.
Repeat this a few times to help you relax.
Grounding technique
A grounding technique can bring us back to the present, help us find stability, and redirect our attention away from overwhelming emotions.
One method is the five senses technique:
- Name five things you can see.
- Names four things you feel.
- Name three things you can hear.
- Name two things you can smell.
- Name one thing you can taste.
For more ways to connect with the present, read our article on Restoring Balance.
Physical activity
Exercise can help to manage your emotions and reduce stress. For example, taking a brisk walk can relieve muscle tension, while practices like yoga or tai chi can involve deep breathing and mental focus, which can promote calmness.1
Journaling
Writing down your thoughts and feelings can help you process them. Journaling can help you recognise your emotions, identify patterns, and gain insight. For more, read our article on the Benefits of Journaling.
Professional help
If you are finding it challenging to manage your emotions, remember that you are not alone. Consider seeking professional help. You can call a helpline like CAREinMIND at 1300 096 269 to speak to a counsellor or reach out to your GP or mental health care professional. There are resources and services available to support you. For more information on services in your area, visit the Head to Health website.
By recognising and understanding your emotions, you have taken the first step. Now you can put some of these strategies into action to start managing your intense feelings and improve your wellbeing.
If you are struggling with your mental health and wellbeing, our CAREinMIND counsellors are here to help 24/7. Call 1300 096 269 or click the floating chat button on the right. The service is free for people in north, western and central Melbourne.
The CAREinMIND blog is delivered by Lifeline. The views in each post do not necessarily reflect those of North Western Melbourne Primary Health Network.