What is self-talk
Self-talk is the internal mental conversations we have with ourselves throughout the day. This ongoing internal dialogue influences how we perceive ourselves and navigate daily experiences. Self-talk can also impact our mental health, resilience, and overall outlook on life.
Self-talk helps us to:
- Process experiences.
- Analyse situations and make decisions.
- Ask questions and solve problems.
- Prepare for the future.
- Shape our reactions and emotions.
Patterns of negative self-talk
Negative self-talk can undermine our confidence and amplify our fears. While having some negative thoughts is normal, when negative self-talk becomes the dominant pattern in our internal dialogue, it can impact our mental health and wellbeing.
There are several types of negative self-talk, including[1]:
All-or-nothing thinking
- Viewing situations in absolute terms.
- Perceiving anything less than perfect as a failure.
Overgeneralisation
- Drawing broad conclusions from single events.
- Using words like “always” or “never” to describe situations.
Selective filtering
- Focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation.
- Overlooking or minimising positives and successes.
Magnification
- Exaggerate the importance of things (e.g. your mistake).
Jumping to conclusions
- Making negative assumptions without evidence.
- Anticipating things will turn out badly.
Positive self-talk
Positive self-talk involves choosing constructive and encouraging internal dialogue when facing situations or reflecting on experiences. Rather than harsh self-criticism or catastrophising, positive self-talk focuses on balanced, solution-oriented thinking that acknowledges challenges and capabilities. This approach doesn’t ignore difficulties but instead frames them in a way that promotes problem-solving and emotional resilience.
Positive self-talk has many benefits, including lowering stress and tension and improving self-esteem, confidence, resilience, and wellbeing.
Turning negative self-talk into positive self-talk
Challenging your negative self-talk and transforming it into positive self-talk takes practice. Focus on realistic and achievable thoughts rather than overly optimistic ones.
Here are some steps you can take to develop more positive self-talk habits:
Recognise your negative thought patterns
- Monitor your self-talk
- Identify recurring negative patterns
- Notice the triggers for your negative thoughts.
Challenge your negative assumptions
- Question your negative assumptions
- Look for evidence to challenge your negative thoughts
- Consider alternative perspectives.
Reframe your thoughts more constructively
- Transform negative statements into balanced or positive ones.
- Acknowledge your strengths.
Your goal isn’t to eliminate all negative self-talk but rather to develop a more balanced and supportive way of thinking about yourself and your experiences.
Examples of reframing negative thoughts into positive self-talk
Feeling stressed
Negative thought: “I won’t be able to cope with this situation. I can’t handle any more pressure.”
Positive reframe: “This feeling is temporary, and I am coping quite well, given everything else that is happening. I can take a break when needed and focus on what I can control.”
Feeling anxious
Negative thought: “I’m terrible at job interviews and will mess up.”
Positive reframe: “This is a stressful situation, but I can prepare by researching the company and practising answering questions. Each interview is an opportunity to improve my communication skills.”
Feeling overwhelmed
Negative thought: “Nothing seems to be going well today, and I can’t do anything right.”
Positive reframe: “Today, I’ve accomplished several tasks, like making the bed, preparing breakfast, and walking the dog. If I am still overwhelmed, I can use a grounding technique to help me restore balance.”
Meeting a deadline
Negative thought: “There is too much to do, and I will never finish this project.”
Positive reframe: “I can break this project into smaller tasks and focus on one piece at a time. It’s also okay to ask for help.”
Learning something new
Negative thought: “I will never understand how this works.”
Positive reframe: “Learning takes time, and I am making progress step by step.”
Handling a setback
Negative thought: “I knew this would never work. This proves I am not good enough.”
Positive reframe: “This is an opportunity to learn and improve. I can analyse what went wrong and change my approach next time.”
Seeking support
If your negative self-talk becomes overwhelming, reach out for help. You can speak to a mental health professional, discuss your concerns with your doctor, or call a free helpline like CAREinMIND on 1300 096 269 for counselling support.
Developing positive self-talk is a skill that improves with practice. You can create a more positive and resilient mindset by being mindful of your internal dialogue and consciously working to reframe negative thoughts.
If you are struggling and need to reach out to a mental health professional, our CAREinMIND counsellors are here to help 24/7. Call 1300 096 269 or click the floating chat button on the right. The service is free for people in north, western and central Melbourne.
The CAREinMIND blog is delivered by Lifeline. The views in each post do not necessarily reflect those of North Western Melbourne Primary Health Network.
References
[1] Harvard University https://sdlab.fas.harvard.edu/cognitive-reappraisal/identifying-negative-automatic-thought-patterns